Seriously I thought a relationship was supposed to be 50/50 but it seems that although I fucked up in the past I have lost all opinions. I never asked you to not do something, I trusted you and although I didn’t trust anyone else I never asked you to not do something, Until tonight tonight I simply asked that you stay home because I didn’t feel comfortable with you bin in the same place as your ex. Could you honor that? No you did everything to try and go and make every excuse to go. What kind of Fucken respect is that. Them you act like its my fault. Fuck this if you have the right to voice your opinion then why don’t I. Wtf is so god damn important that the one thing I ask was so Fucken difficult. Maybe you’re right maybe we shouldn’t be together. Maybe we should just be a memory. I love you to death but you need to understand that although everyone else thinks I have ice in my veins I do have feelings, and you hurt them All tonight. But all you cared about was that I ruined your day. Thanks a lot.
i sometimes feel like im walking on eggshells and i dont mind it, especially for her. but it seems no matter what i do i just cant seem to do anything right anymore. its not that i dont work for my relationship but sometimes it feels like just that, work. I love the girl to death and sometimes i feel that this relationship is the one. its just hard on both of us right now, she is my best friend and in a way the person who has always been there. i feel as though sometimes we need to take a step back from our relationship as boyfriend/girlfriend and try and be friends again. thats what we were before we ever even thought we would be together, friends in every sense of the word. i understand that i made mistakes in the past and that has put doubt in her mind many times because of what she has. If this relationship doesnt work then i will take the blame for what i actually did and didnt do. i have said i was sorry for the past but i feel as though i will always be stuck on dec. 16th, 2012. im sorry that i cant be friends with guys, im sorry that my new friend is a girl, and im sorry you feel threatened by her. all in all im sorry for everything i have ever done to you, but just know i do not and have never regretted this relationship for one second.
I can’t think of another way to vent about this but here it goes. For awhile know I have never really said anything. I would usually take the blame because for so long every relationship that I have been in I have been at fault so naturally I just accepted what was told to me by them and I have always taken blame. Well why is it always my fault. Why can’t it be that nobody sees my efforts, the times that I go above and beyond for the person I am in a relationship with. Especially this last one. I have done more than my fair share of bending over backward for you when at the time would just snap on me. I’m sorry that I couldn’t be the prince that fairy tales always said would happen. I’m sorry that I came with issues myself and that I can never move past the month of December
this has nothing to do with me thinking of myself as whole. i dont consider myself that something i do deserves praise. at one point i gave up on myself a long time ago. at one point i hurt myself. but this isnt that time. for once the person i care the most about is hurting themselves. and i may as well be pulling the blade because that persons family is tugging on it. i understand that her whole family hates me, and i have done what i can to make them understand “their daughter is the most important thing to me.” but it doesnt matter. so whatever happens to me (and just like me, you are a huge part of why i have a meaning to live. you were my friend before anything) I love you KAT, i dont deserve you, but i love you.